New Year’s Disciplines
I am often asked what I have found to be successful in my personal walk with Christ and the spiritual leadership of my home, so here are the disciplines I practice daily and have found to be effective. I hope you will join me in striving to be a Godly Husband, Father, and Man in the coming year.
“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
—Matt. 6:21(NIV)
Church and Small Group
Attend and serve in a local church. That is not an option but a privilege and honor. Church should be a priority in your life. Anything that consistently keeps you out of God’s house and away from his people is an idol that you are placing above God.
We must “be present!” We are so important to the church. Do not ever doubt your worth and the impact your presence can make on the Kingdom of God.
I am a part of a small group. These are my closest friends and supporters in my walk with Christ. Do not miss out on this! Again, “be present!”
“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”
—Heb. 10:24-25 (NIV)
Quiet Time
Quiet time is a must. It must be scheduled and intentional.
HOW?
There are many methods for quiet time, each of which includes Bible reading, journaling, application, and prayer.
You can read scripture (walk through books of the Bible) or use Bible apps that have some great devotions. My preference is direct scripture reading, and I prefer smaller sections as chapters can cover multiple topics. Most modern-day Bibles are split up into sections (topics). I personally use a 6x8 journal for my journaling. Journaling is crucial as you do not know how often I refer back to my notes when sharing how my Father speaks to me. This always leads to opportunities to share the gospel.
My journal entries include:
My observation of the scripture. Sometimes this includes me writing a particular verse. Some struggle here and summarize what the scripture is saying. I recommend making it personal: What is the scripture saying to you? Hear God speak to you!
My application of the scripture. This is hearing God speak and responding with how I will apply His word to my life.
My meditation on the scripture. I do this a little differently. I write myself a challenging question that I think about and pray over for that day. It is a question I run to as a refuge when I feel Satan attacking with sinful temptations.
My prayer. I thank my Father for spending time with me and speaking to me as well as for the day ahead and his promises of protection and guidance.
Here are some good templates for journaling:
The SOAP Method (Scripture, Observation, Application, Prayer)
Scripture (Read a passage of scripture—verse, section, or chapter.)
Observation (What is the passage of scripture saying?)
Application (How will I apply that passage to my life?)
Prayer (Pray the passage over your life.)
The CAMP Method (Copy & Comprehend, Apply, Meditate, Prayer)—my personal favorite!
Copy & Comprehend (Copy some verses that speak to you from a passage and comprehend how God is speaking to you through these verses.)
Apply (Determine how this passage applies to your life.)
Meditate (Spend time dwelling on this scripture’s meaning for you and how you will respond.)
Pray (Pray the passage over your life.)
WHEN?
“Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.”
—Mark 1:35 (NIV)
Although there is no set time for your quiet time with your Father, I find that early in the morning is best for me. I am more alert and fresh in the morning. I find I am tired if I wait till the evening after a long hard day at work, which makes it harder to focus, especially with the kids around.
“Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.”
—Eph. 6:13 (NIV)
Every single day we are called out into the battlefield. I would never walk onto the battlefield without my armor. My quiet time with my Father is that armor; it prepares me for the battle I will face that day.
WHERE?
Where is normally determined by focus—and focus can be a struggle. Go to a quiet place where you can disconnect, especially from your phone, and focus on God. A cup of coffee and prayer help me prepare for my time with God . . . just me and Him.
Prayer
We all struggle with prayer sometimes, and I am not immune. You may feel like your prayers are stale or repetitive. I have found that being intentional about prayer helps with this. Scheduled prayer time is important. This does not mean that you do not pray throughout the day for various reasons. The more you practice praying, the better you will be at it.
Earlier I mentioned a journal I use for my quiet time. Each time I get a new journal, I update my prayer list and put it on the front cover. Be specific. If you are struggling with what to pray for, start asking. Ask your wife to give you a prayer list of her struggles so that you can pray over them. Do the same with your children. This not only helps with prayer but opens communication.
“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”
—James 5:16 (NIV)
Refuge
I highly recommend having a refuge, especially when Satan attacks and you are tempted. This can be your go-to scripture or possibly a hymnal. As I mentioned, for my meditation I challenge myself with a question that I reflect on throughout the day and pray over. I also go to my favorite old hymns and sing them loudly. My children often hear me singing these throughout the day, and yes, I even sing them to the dogs. Don’t laugh! I have found singing helps with the temperature of the home.
Reading
Read Christian literature. An idle mind is dangerous—very dangerous!
When I was little, I hated to read, and I still do a little. I would rather listen to an audiobook, which I do quite often when driving, working out, etc. If the book is good, I will then buy a hard copy for further reference and teaching. I am ALWAYS reading or listening to a Christian book. This helps keep me focused and protects my mind from idleness and sinful things.
Discipleship
Discipleship is imperative. It requires intention and—most of all—COMMITMENT.
WHO?
“Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.”
—Matt. 28:19-20 (NIV)
Yes, Jesus is talking to you and me! It is not a suggestion but a commandment. You should first disciple your children. I have found that eleventh and twelfth grade is great for one-on-one discipleship. You should disciple other brothers in Christ. You should never do one-on-one discipleship with someone of the opposite sex. Men should disciple men, and women should disciple women. No leeway.
WHAT?
Discipleship includes walking through scripture (chapters in the Bible) or some other Christian literature together. This helps guide the conversation. You should discuss your struggles, confess sin to one another, and pray for one another. Its purpose is conviction, encouragement, and growth.
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.”
—Eccles. 4:9-10 (NIV)
Discipleship for me is exactly what I stated above. I often walk through books in the Old Testament, New Testament, and Christian literature that include Disciplines of a Godly Man, Point Man, and Pursuing Holiness, amongst others.
WHEN?
All commitments take TIME, time from both parties. It should be a scheduled day and time every week and outside of sickness, vacations, and/or a world disaster, this day and time should be committed to by both parties.
Discipleship for me is a commitment to another brother in Christ for one hour a week for one year.
WHERE?
I am a fan of a local coffee shop or even a park when the weather is good. I have also hosted at my home in our bonus room or back deck. It is up to you! Just make it a comfortable area where open conversation can happen.
EXPECTATION?
I think it is imperative for me to include this. One thing discipleship training lacks today is what to do in adverse situations. The good things such as connection, encouragement, and growth can be easy to train because it encourages discipleship. The bad things such as inattentiveness, disinterest, indifference, however, can and do discourage discipleship. I do not want to discourage you but to prepare you. Unfortunately, there are times in discipleship you will find that the one being discipled is not as invested as the one leading the discipleship. It happens! This can cause the one leading the discipleship to feel like they have failed in some way and they in turn disqualify themselves from future discipleships. We do not want this to happen. This is why I teach every man I disciple how to fail! I know that sounds ridiculous. Sorry! Again, I will say for you to remember Jesus lost one too. Out of his twelve disciples, Judas fell away. This does not reflect on you, and it should not stop your mission “to go and make disciples of all nations.” Remember what Jesus said next, “I will be with you.” You are not alone, so go and do great things for the Kingdom of God.
Missions
GO! Missions make the difference. Missions are a part of my life and have changed my family. Be intentional every year to schedule how you and your family will serve. My family always makes plans for the coming year in December.
Look for ways for you and your family to serve locally. I can’t emphasize enough that you should take your teenagers on international missions. This changed each of my children and they are more appreciative of what they have, what God is calling them to do, and how they can make a difference. It renews PURPOSE! So, GO!
Working Out
I find working out brings me close to God. Working out requires discipline in the physical, which helps me be more disciplined in the spiritual. I use this time of hardship to pray and reflect on God and give Him thanks. I have seen God open multiple opportunities for me to share Him through working out with others. Remember we turn to God the most when we struggle, so go grab a partner (of the same sex) and go work out.
Family Time
Listed below are some things we practice as a family.
The Dinner Table
The dinner table is important. The dinner table is a good time for you to get together with your family and just be together, pray together, and invest in the day to day of each other’s lives. We do not allow cell phones at our table. This can also be a great time to share a devotion or how God spoke to you through a personal quiet time.
Holidays
Create traditions. Here are some examples of some of our family traditions:
Before we go to sleep on Christmas Eve, we gather around our living room coffee table and spend time in God’s word walking through the Christmas story. We also take this time to reflect on the past year and make plans for the new year.
For Valentine’s Day, my wife always makes a fancy dinner. She goes all out to make this special for me and our children. She decorates the table, we use our finest Walmart china, and she cooks a special dinner of crab meat Alfredo with cheese biscuits, salad, and dessert.
Vacations
Make memories. My family goes on at least one family vacation a year. We reflect on these often in our discussions. They are a source of laughter and reflection on blessings.
I hope this year will be your best year yet. Be intentional!
You Are the Man!
- Chuckie
