BROTHERS
I have often been asked, “How is it that your sons are so close.” To be honest I had never really thought about this before, as aren’t brothers supposed to be close. But for parents with younger children, they would look at my boys and say, “I hope my boys are close like that when they are older.” As I recently read a book this thought came back to me. In his book Anchor Man, Steve Farrar writes about being, “Bent by God.” This comes from the verse Eccl 7:13 which reads, “Consider the work of God; For who is able to straiten what He has bent?”
Now I will say, my boys are close in age with only two years separating them. When I asked my oldest son Colin if he remembered life before Andrew, he said, “No, Andrew has always been there.” They grew up together and played with each other every day. They were more than brothers; they were best friends. They shared in each other’s victories, and they shared in each other’s struggles. They have the relationship that every brother longs for.
But even with this, they were both bent differently. Each with there own set abilities and skills. God instilled in them gifts that were truly their own. Although they would admire each other’s gift, they never really coveted that gift. This is not normally the case. Most boys compete…and yes, we men do as well. But I am not talking about friendly competition. I am talking about looking at someone else’s strengths and longing for those strengths for yourself. I am talking about looking at your brother and being jealous of his accomplishments. When we constantly compare ourselves to someone else, we get discouraged, we disconnect, and we miss the gifts that God has given us.
Just last year my middle son Andrew was the quarterback for our local high school. This was a big deal and yes, I was proud of his amazing accomplishment, but I will say someone else was just as proud. It was his brother. It was Friday night and getting close to game time. As I sat in the stands my oldest son came and sat beside me. I asked him, “Colin, where have you been?” “I went and saw Andrew in the locker room,” he said. Then he lit up, “Dad, he looked awesome. He towered over me and well, he looked like a stud.” As the game started, you could tell Colin shared in all of Andrew’s victories and his struggles. He even commented, “I could never do that!” He was in awe of his brother.
Weeks later, Colin was slated to preach at our church for midweek. Both Andrew and I went to worship and listen to him preach. As Colin stepped up and began to preach, we were on the field again. This time however, Colin was the quarterback, and Andrew was in the stands. As Andrew watched Colin stand before others and bring the word, he sat in awe of his brother’s amazing gift. After the service, I looked at Andrew and said, “He did so good.” Which Andrew responded, “I could never do that!”
Farrar writes, “God bends a child a certain way for a reason. God gives a child certain gifts for a reason, God gives unique gifts to children for a reason. And it is the responsibility of the Christian father to help his child understand the way that God has bent him.”
My children are close because they are both bent differently and although they may admire each other’s gifts, they also are thankful for their own. I taught my boys to never belittle their gifts. To belittle your gift is to belittle the gift giver… and my Father, only gives perfect gifts.
So yes, there is a lot to learn here. “Good Father’s help their children to understand and appreciate the strengths that God has placed within them.” But I want to add to this. Good Christian brothers should do the same. We are to be our brothers biggest advocate…cheering and admiring their amazing gifts and thanking God for our own.
That’s what BROTHERS do!
